CHAPTER 1
LILY
My life would have been so perfect, married to a man who makes my heart flutter, a man, whose smile is capable of making me forget every other worry, whose words give me instant hope. Everything would have been perfect if the heavens blessed us with a child of our own.
Although Ryan doesn’t say it to my face, I know he wants a child; he desperately needs one as much as I do. I see him staring at little kids at the coffee shop for far too long, I catch a glimpse of him smiling at baby pictures on the internet.
Having gone to the clinic countless times, and having seen different specialists, we were told thatwewere perfectly fine and that the baby would come at the right time. Waiting for that baby for two years now is almost making me desperate.
Ryan’s love for kids makes him visit the orphanage twice every year, and today is the second time for the year. Although I’m late, I have a perfect excuse.
I’ve been baking some cookies for the children at the orphanage which took most of my time. Pulling the car over in the parking lot, I got down, walking over to the trunk.
The staff and volunteers at the orphanage who recognized me, approached me to assist in carrying out the cookie boxes from the trunk.
Stepping aside, I let them carry the boxesas my eyes wandered around in search of my husband. It didn’t take much effort to find him, because Ryan always has a unique way of standing out.
“We’re done with the boxes, ma’am.” A female voice informed me, taking my attention away from Ryan and the lady He seemed to be in a deep conversation with. It was kind of difficult to figure out who the lady was since her back was faced in my direction.
“Did you get the toys in the back seat?” I asked the young lady who shook her head before proceeding to get the toys.
Locking the car, I sashayed towards my husband, already formulating an apology speech for my tardiness in my head. However, my step was fluttered when the lady who had been backing me turned to the side.
Stephanie, Ryan’s ex-finance. When did she get back to the country?
Slowly moving my eyes from her face, I shifted it to Ryan who was smiling widely at something she said. I’ve never seen my husband smile this widely, at least not towards me.
You see, in every relationship, there is always someone who loves the most, and I think that’s me. I have always loved Ryan dearly, hoping that one day he’ll love me as madly as I loved him.
At least he hasn’t cheated on me with other women all these years, and that gives me hope that one day, he’ll love me as insanely as I loved him. Maybe, just maybe having a child with him should be able to solve that.
Masking the panic I felt at the sight of Stephanie, I cleared my throat before approaching them. “Babe!” I called out, walking over to Ryan to give him a peck on the cheek. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
His hands lay limply at his side. “It’s no news, Lily, you’re never on time.” I’m never late, just that he’s always too early.
Not sure how to respond to that, I moved my attention to Stephanie, forcing a smile for the sake of courtesy. “Hello, Stephanie.” I stretched out my hand for a handshake to which she accepted. “I had no idea you’re back in the country.”
Her grey eyes flickered to Ryan and she smiled fondly at him. “Ray never told you?”
Ryan shrugged. “I didn’t see the need to.”
He didn’t see the need to?!Hisex-fiancé who broke things off with him a few months before their wedding returned to the country and he didn’t see the need to tell me that he met her? I faked yet another smile for the paparazzi. “Let’s go in, we’re already late as it is.”
I tried to reach for his hand but he slipped it into his pocket. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the office.” He informed Stephanie, and smiled at her one last time before heading towards the orphanage entrance, leaving me standing like a fool.
Trying not to feel embarrassed over the fact that my husband just openly rejected my touch, I chuckled nervously. “I’ll see you around,” I muttered, ready to walk away from her.
“It’s surprising that I’ve been in this country for three months, working with your husband and he never told you about my return?” She chuckled. “Just how damaged is your communication life with your husband?”
Tilting my head, I observed her slowly. “You heard him yourself Stephanie, he didn’t see the need to.” I met Ryan when he was wounded over the hurt and heartbreak She inflicted on him, I helped him heal, so she has no right whatsoever to act like she belongs to his side. “My husband and I tend not to discuss irrelevant issues, like our past.”
“I’m standing before you honey,” she deadpanned, “and I’ll be meeting with him tomorrow, I’ll be working late nights with him in the future. Does that sound like the past to you?”
“That sounds like a woman who is trying to ignite not only jealously, but doubt in me.” I took a step toward her, making sure to keep my face neutral so the paparazzi wouldn’t be able to figure out what was going on here. “I trust my husband,Stephanie;I trust him not to go back to his old vomit.”
She threw her head back and laughed loudly. “Your naivety is entertaining.” She mused. “I’ll see you around cupcake.” With that, she turned and walked away.
I took deep calming breaths before going to join my husband, hoping that my bad mood would not reflect on mybehaviortowards the kids or my interaction with them.
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I had to wait until we were in the confined of our home before bringing up the issue of Stephanie. Watching him flip through the magazine, I thought of how best to bring up the topic.
“Why didn’t you mention you were working on a project with Stephanie?” I asked, decided to be blunt with my question.
“I thought I gave you an answer to that question already?” Ryan responded without looking up from the magazine.
“How can’t you see the necessity to tell me that your ex is back in town and you’re working with her?” I asked him with a baffled tone. “How would you feel if my ex shows up and I start working with him without informing you?”
Closing the magazine, he dropped it on the table and stared at me with a stoic expression. “You don’t have an ex, Lily, and you don’t have a job. So,I can’t really picture such a scenario in your case.”
“And whose fault is it that I don’t have a job?” I snapped at him, feeling attacked by his statement.
“I told you to quit your job because I wanted you to focus on this family.” He folded his hands. “Two years later, it’s still just the two of us and you show up for every event late.”
My heart dropped at his words. “Are you insinuating that I’m the reason why we have no child?” He heard the doctors, we were both healthy, so why is he blaming me for this? “Are you for real Ryan?”
“Don’t expect me to always explain myself to you, Lily, you haven’t earned it.” Grabbing his glass of wine, he stood to his feet.
“What do you mean by I haven’t earned it,Ryan?” I equally stood to my feet. “I am your wife Ryan in case you’ve forgotten.”
He looked me straight in the face, his face still stoic and expressionless. “If you’re my wife, then start acting like it.” He turned towalk away but stopped at the doorway. “About the charity ball tomorrow night, don’t bother getting ready.”
With my appetite already gone with the mood, I pushed my plate away. “And why shouldn’t I get ready for it?”
“Mum needs your help in the garden.” He responded.
“Tomorrow night?” What will I be doingin the garden late in the night? “What happened to the daytime?”
“She’s a busy woman.” He deadpanned, letting the silent ‘Unlike You’ float in the air, “and the flowers are night bloomers. Make yourself available for her tomorrow night, and try not to be late.”
“Ryan, I don’t think_”
“Don’t argue Lily, learn to be grateful.” With that, he walked away from the dining room.
I was left standing all alone, wondering what the hell just happened.
